Learn to manage mental health skills

Talk. Sleep. Exercise. Pray. Relax. Volunteer.

There are plenty of ways for Americans to get through the first holiday season of the rest of their lives, mental health professionals say.

Yes, we feel a heightened sense of futility, of helplessness to change things. "But you can change the way you react to it, the way you cope with it," Centerville psychologist Kathy Platoni says.

"We don't have a whole lot of tools in our individual toolboxes to deal with what's happened in the United States, but we can learn skills to manage our stress and fear and discomfort and worry. I think people really need to be open to that idea."

How?

* Share your feelings. One friend is enough, says Dr. Brien Dyer, a Good Samaritan Hospital psychiatrist. All it takes is a good listener who can keep a secret.

"Don't be alone with your feelings," Platoni says. "You'll be surprised how pervasive they are."

* But don't share those feelings with the kids. "They pick up on their parents' stress and their parents' depression," says Children's Medical Center psychologist Sarah Fillingame. "Try to keep the bickering and financial realities away from the kids."

* Pray. Church and other worshipping attendance has fallen back after its September surge, but prayer doesn't require a specific building, Platoni says. "If you believe in prayer, use it. It works."

* Economize. As layoffs mount, some people have no choice and others must save for tomorrow's rainy day. But whether out of necessity or post-September solemnity, Dyer says people are finding more important things than the material. When parents help kids make the presents they'll give, they're not just saving money but also spending time together, Fillingame says.

* Relax. Techniques for deep breathing, guided imagery or brief imaginary escapes can flush away stress and anxiety, Platoni says.

* Volunteer. Researchers have found that helping others can stimulate natural feel-good chemicals. "Go find what good still exists in this world and spread it around a little," Platoni says. Adopt a needy family. Donate coats or canned goods. Give blood. Help serve a meal to the homeless.

* Exercise. People who engaged in 50 minutes of exercise a week were 50 percent less likely to become depressed in a Duke University study, says Psychology Today's December-January "Blue's Buster" newsletter.

* Take care of yourself. "Get enough sleep," Dyer says. "Get out of the house and into the sun." One in five Americans has started eating too many calories, fats or sugars since Sept. 11, the American Institute for Cancer Research found in a survey.

* Do what's important to you. Or whatever you find strength in, says Dr. A. Patrick Jonas. "I've had a lot of patients go to their photo albums and be reminded of their values."

* Be aware that this time of year and this point in history are conducive to depression. "Major depression often starts with just the blues," Fillingame says. "We just kind of write it off in ourselves, and especially in our kids, and we go into a downward spiral."

The difference between ordinary sadness and clinical depression is severity and duration, she says. More than two weeks is more than enough to wait.

"Then it's OK to say, 'Wait a minute. There are people who can help me,' " psychotherapist Elaine Koenigsberg says. "You don't have to suffer."

Fun things to do that don't cost much

* Do some things as a family that are free or inexpensive. Drive around looking at holiday lights. Make ornaments or baked goods together. Have a family game night. Rent a movie that everyone wants to see.

* Involve the family in charity work. Helping others enables families to feel better about themselves and their circumstances.

* Don't go window shopping. You won't want what you haven't seen.

* For families that are separated, encourage children to make a scrapbook of photos, pictures and drawings of what they've been doing since the last time they've seen a parent or other loved one.

* Make a "time-with-parent" coupon book for kids to use throughout the year. Coupons can be for trips to the movies, the swimming pool, the zoo, a dinner out, etc.

Source: Dr. Mary Fristad, child psychologist at Ohio State University

Depression resources

* CrisisCare, the Montgomery County agency that provides an entry point into the mental health system, has a 24-hour hot line at 222- 4646.

* The National Alliance for the Mentally Ill offers education and support groups in Montgomery County (258-0440 Ext. 6558) and Greene and Clark counties (322-5600).

* Recovery, Inc., is a self-help organization for those wishing to overcome anxiety, fear, depression and anger. Call 436-4878 or go to www.recovery-inc.com on the Web.

* The Suicide Prevention Center's 24-hour Crisis Support Line is 229-7777 or (800) 320-4357.

* Support for victims of abuse and their children is at Artemis Center for Alternatives to Domestic Violence, 461-4357 or 222-SAFE (7233).

* Hospice of Dayton's Family Support Services can help families cope with the loss of a loved one. Visit www.hospiceofdayton.org or call 256-4490.

* Sources include the Self-Help Clearinghouse, a program of the Family Service Association, which can be called at 225-3004 for information on support available for depression, anxiety, grief, addiction, physical or sexual abuse and dozens of other topics.

When to seek help

In the last several National Depression Screening Days, these have been the five most common symptoms of depression:

* Difficulty doing things that used to be easy to do.

* Feeling hopelessness or pessimism.

* Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.

* Feeling worthless or not needed.

* Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that have been enjoyable.

Other common symptoms of depression:

* Persistent, sad, anxious or empty mood.

* Decreased energy, a feeling of fatigue.

* Restlessness or irritability.

* Inability to sleep or oversleeping.

* Changes in appetite or weight.

* Unexplained aches and pains.

* Feelings of guilt or helplessness.

* Thoughts of death or suicide.

Source: Screening for Mental Health Inc.

Sept. 11 resources

* For a variety of information and Web links relevant to Sept. 11, go to www.psych.org/ and click on "Coping with a National Tragedy."

* The National Institute of Mental Health has resources pertaining to post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety disorders, along with a fact sheet on helping children and adolescents cope with violence and disasters, at www.nimh.nih.gov/outline/ responseterrorism.cfm.

* For information on "coping with traumatic events," check www.crisiscounseling.org on the Web.

From AboutOurKids.org