BUST HOLIDAY STRESS WITH A FEW OF THESE SUGGESTIONS

No wonder we're stressed.

Add the usual pre-holiday craziness to the traumatic events of the past three months, and it's amazing we're functioning at all.

"We're all under stress, but different people have different amounts of cushioning," explains Hayat Nancy Abuza, who grew up in Dayton and now teaches meditation, stress reduction and guided visualization at Smith and Amherst colleges where she's also an interfaith chaplain.

"There's a whole physiology of stress," explains Abuza, whose first career was as a family practice physician. "That revved-up feeling we get when adrenaline is released in the body and we're panicked or fretting can lead to digestion problems, headaches, muscle tension, backaches."

All of us, insists Abuza, can learn to increase our resiliency to stress.

"We can reverse those effects," says Abuza, whose tape Easy Does It: A Guide to Deep Relaxation is designed to induce the relaxation response.

Abuza says reducing stress leads to lower blood pressure, better sleep habits and more peace of mind.

Allen Elkin, founder of the Stress Management and Counseling Center in New York City, says this year it's more important than ever to stay on top of your stress. Elkin is the author of Stress Management for Dummies (IDG Books, $19.99).

The key, he adds, is to be prepared. Here are some of his suggestions:

* Recognize that it's going to be a stressful time and start early. Plan ahead. Don't let the holiday season catch you unaware when it comes to shopping, cooking and entertaining.

* Don't overdo it. Attend too many parties, dinners and activities and you'll soon realize you're not having fun.

* Be realistic in your expectations of the holidays. Often we remember them as wonderful family times growing up and we're disappointed. Whenever family members get together, it may not match your image of what you think it should be.

* Keep in mind that the gifts you give don't have to be perfect. Sometimes we try too hard to get the right gift. Remind yourself that the gift just needs to reflect that you care about the individual. It doesn't have to be expensive.

* Start watching what you eat and stay in shape now. The holiday period is associated with eating marathons. Mind your eating now so you won't find yourself in a trap in January.

* Maintain social contact and a support system . "The holidays can be a time when we think everyone else is having a great time, but we may feel lonely and cut off," says Elkin. "Keep in touch with people you care about. It's a good time to call up someone you haven't seen in a while and make contact."

* Delegate. Don't try to do it all yourself. Instead, delegate to other family members or hire someone to help. Says Elkin: "It will free you up for fun."

Elkin adds it's most important to make some time for yourself and do something relaxing.

"It could be something small like taking quiet time for yourself, taking time for your favorite hobby or activity or taking time to be with friends."

Bust holiday stress with a few of these suggestions

* Schedule a massage. Massages come in all kinds of wonderful forms - from foot or neck to full-body. Though an hourlong full-body massage typically costs about $60, there are less-expensive options. At the Dayton School of Medical Massage, a full-body relaxation massage runs $30 for an hour session, with no tipping permitted. The school is at 4457 Far Hills Ave. Gift certificates are available. Call 294-2006.

At Easton Fashion District, north of Columbus, Bath & Body Works continues to give free neck massages in connection with the opening of this new store. Staffers will also give you relaxing hand massages to demonstrate new products.

* Spend time with nature. "Whenever you are able to be by yourself or a special friend and you're strolling in the peaceful world of nature, it calms your spirit," says Charity Krueger, executive director of Aullwood Audubon Center and Farm. "Your strolling gives you an opportunity to observe all the changes that occur in nature every moment."

At Aullwood, you can go any time and take a stroll in the woods through the prairie and pinewoods or hike up to the farm and see the newborn pigs. For those who'd like more organized outings, there are Thursday morning walks. "Or come out to the farm and dip a beeswax candle," Charity suggests. You can do that at 2:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday through Dec. 23. Cost is $4 for non-members and $2 for kids, plus $1 per candle.

* Learn to relax. If you don't know how, explore various methods of relaxation to find something that will take the edge off your tension. If you haven't the time for a class or the gym, try on a yoga or relaxation video. A few possibilities:

Hayat Nancy Abuza's Easy Does it: A Guide to Deep Relaxation is available at www.wisdomschild.com ($15 for cassette or CD) or call (800) 794-6336.

Basic Yoga Workout for Dummies with Sara Ivanhoe incorporates a "daily dozen" basic yoga postures. Special symbols help with explanations and modifications. (Anchor Bay Entertainment, 45 minutes, $14.98).

In Relaxation: Beginners Stretch with Tamilee Webb, stretching routines are designed to relax tired, aching and tense muscles after a stressful day. (Natural Journeys)

* Light a candle or make a fire. It's amazing how relaxing those glowing flames can be. There are all kinds of wonderful scented candles available. You can also eat by candlelight.

* Invest in a stress-buster. Homedics makes a line of products designed to alleviate tension, including Paraffin baths that combine relaxation therapy, skin moisturizer and therapeutic heat; foot spas (water and heat therapy); indoor relaxation fountains; sound therapy machines (to filter out background noise and aid sleep); and handheld percussion action massagers. All are priced under $70 and available at many department, discount, drug and specialty stores or at www.homedics.com. (800) 466-3342.

* Take a warm, relaxing bath. The Refresh and Restore Collection from Bath & Body Works includes natural aromatherapy oils, body-care products, bath accessories and moisturizers. "Saturday at the Spa" is packaged on a large rattan tray with products ranging from a bath robe and Healing Waters CD to a pillar candle ($150).

* Have a cup of herbal tea. Caffeine can add more stress to your life . Substitute a cup of chamomile. Serve it in a pretty china cup.

* Music can be soothing to the soul. Pick the type that calms you : jazz or classical, spiritual from your own religious tradition or the music of a bubbling brook.

* And don't forget to laugh. Laughter is an immediate stress- reducer, and one that's simple to acquire.

　　From Healthy.net